Bells and Whistles

Ted rode in a car the other day
That made his fur ends spike.
So many bells and whistles,
He's never seen the like.
It had a hundred buttons
And levers on display
That went beyond sane reason
And blew his mind away.
Apparently, one's blue teeth
Can cement wi-fi connection
With seven inch screen on dashboard
For a spotify selection!
This is a foreign language
To creatures who're immersed
In antiquated culture
And sixteenth century verse.
Do we need SatNav, rear camera,
Automated pre-set functions,
Elec-terrific windows,
Sound warnings at all junctions?
He remembers with affection
Ford Cortina as the best,
Morris Minor, Standard Vanguard,
Austin, Cresta and the rest.
Aware he is more dull bear
Than bright-eyed, most eager beaver,
He far prefers Ye Olde
Hillman Imp and Vauxhall Viva.