Premium Bonds

National Savings and Investments here.
You've had a win on Ernie
But when you tried to pay cheque in,
You had a wasted journey?
If I understand correctly,
You drove yourself to town,
Paid parking charge and walked to Bank
To find it had closed down.
I'll take you through some questions
So whatever the amount
Of winnings in the future
Will transfer to your account.
Give age, address and email.
I'll try not to keep you waiting
While I look into your profile
And confirm your credit rating.
I'm sorry you consider this
A whit unorthodox.
Let me explain:  I have a script
And must tick every box.
Why do we check your credit
When WE'll be paying YOU?
I'll mark that down as feedback
From investor's point of view.
Are you still there?  Hello again!
With diligent persistence
I've hunted, but my search reveals
No trace of your existence.
There is another option,
Download our form and then......
Oh!  You've posted one to us before?
Well, why not try again?
Yes, I really am in Glasgow,
I'm not speaking from Mumbai.
If there's no more you need help with,
Enjoy your day.  Goodbye!